From as far as I can remember which is kindergarten I can remember having anxiety. I recall getting sick every time I went to school just because I wanted to be in my safe place which was my house. I did not feel comfortable being with people I barely knew and it showed. Now, as time passed you would think it would not be as extreme but it was even though I would not get sick every day I did get sick and had even more anxiety due to the fact that teachers noticed how quiet and shy I was and singled me out a lot due to the fact that even though I did my work participation was very important to them and of course me and public speaking was not a good mix I did participate which they announced it to the class that I did participate but it just made things worse. I picked up a habit where I would not eat food in the morning because I was afraid of throwing up and I still carry that habit with me to this day and all this occurred in 6-8th grade. I had this idea in my mind of being a perfect student since I was too nervous to participate. I had to do everything else and it led to me just stressing myself out. Even when I was not in school during this period of time if I went out to eat with my family or just went out in general I would get sick I guess after embarrassing myself multiple times in public and I got tired of being in my safe place I decided to make a change once I figured out all of my issues were mental.

I started doing breathing exercises when I went outside and I was lucky enough to get better teachers so I was more open with them so I was more comfortable. I started being more open with my opinions and in a way, I would say I started to blossom. I was also preparing myself for highschool, thinking about where I wanted to go and the new people I would meet. I ended up picking a school that was really far from my house at the time I lived in Uptown Manhattan  and I got into a school that was in the Lower East Side. I did this on purpose because the school I attended from 2-8 was across the street from me and I wanted to learn how to take the train and how the subway lines worked. After getting lost in Cchinatown and going on the wrong side of the A train and not noticing until I reached brooklyn I finally started getting the hang of it. I made friends really quick from orientation, talked to almost everyone that was there and started off good. Not only did I develop more into the person I wanted to be but I learned valuable lessons such as not everyone is your friend, people can be fake to you even if they say they are your friends, and to mind my business. After switching through three or four friend groups in a school year Ii decided it was better if I just stayed to myself because it was not working out for me there by May, a transfer student came and that is who I became friends with during my freshman year, I still talk to her to this day even though we both decided this highschool was not the one for us.

I was a new and improved person and much more vocal but I was just in a bad environment where I stopped being my true self so I decided to transfer because it was best for me. Even though City College Academy Of The Arts was not the school I wanted to go to, I had no option. I applied to school very late and all the schools were already full. I would say it was meant to be that I went to this school and it also helped me fully develop into the person I am today. It was the polar opposite to the school I was in freshman year with the rules like having uniform, not being able to use your phones and not being able to wear hoodies. Also, the ethnic groups were different and the layout of the building my previous highschool building was for our school only and city college shares it with another school. I have been friends with the same people since sophomore year and now i’m on my way to being more independent and deciding what college I should go to but this depending on where my parents decide to move.I would say 8th grade through Sophomore year was the time frame that I learned most of my lessons and developed as a person. I am  a senior now and even though I still have anxiety when it comes to little things like talking to people on the phone every other aspect of my anxiety and shyness are no longer with me, I comfortable with public speaking and I can give presentations with no problem I even sometimes enjoy it and my attitude towards things have changed and situations that what have and did affect me in my younger years no longer do and even though my personality has changed and some people have been bothered by it I do not care because I changed for the better.

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